When I wrote an earlier post seeking readers suggestions for topics, Tina asked that I provide a post on birth control and Islam. It is permitted or not? I knew in speaking with various Saudi women I was told both that birth control was allowable and also told that it was not allowable. Those who said it was allowable cited such reasons as the need for family planning, financial circumstances, health issues and not having too many babies too closely together. Those who said birth control was not allowable shared the view that whether a woman got pregnant or not was “God’s will.” They also cited that the sexual act was to be performed to procreate and bring more Muslims into the world. Not surprisingly, women who would be viewed as moderate, educated, liberal and open-minded were the ones advocating birth control. The women who were against birth control were more conservative, most did not attend University and would likely never work outside of the home. There were a few exceptions in that several women were university educated and worked and not in favor of birth control. I’m not trying to make any stereotypes here or point fingers but relaying findings.

I then turned to various search engines to see what information would surface since this is a topic on which I did not know and hoped to find a sanctioned source who could enlighten me and others on this topic, especially with the diverse answers when making an informal poll. In a 1996 edition of Islamic Journal, “Alyssa” writes an article entitled “Family Planning in Islam” (http://www.unh.edu/msa/familyp.htm) which cites that birth control is indeed permissible and cited the following reasons promoting the use of birth control:

Modern scholar Shaykh Ahmad al-Sharabassi of Egypt has pronounced the following as genuine reasons for practicing contraception:

1. So that the woman may rest between pregnancies.

2. If either partner has a transmittable disease.

3. For the sake of the woman’s health. For example if she is already breast-feeding a child it would be damaging for both her and the child to have another pregnancy.

4. If the husband can not afford to support any more children.

Epigee Womens Health (http://www.epigee.org/guide/islamic.html) also has some very interesting reads about ‘Birth Control & Religion’ as well as citing the above reasons which birth control is permissible. The Epigee article also goes into aspects of courtship, sex before (not allowed) and sex within marriage, birth control and the sensitive subject of abortion.

Lastly, Jannah.org (http://www.jannah.org/sisters/famplan.html) has an online article which comprises the views and thoughts of multiple scholars on the issue of birth control in Islam.

I found that there are pages of links when doing a search using the terms islam and birth control.

Since I started this post with informal findings by simply asking random Saudi women about this topic, I’d like to end it with readers sharing their views. If you are muslim, how do you feel about birth control? While the links site specific findings and guidance, what are your personal views on the topic?

As I understand according to the predominant tradition and culture in the Kingdom, it is unusual for a woman to enter into marriage while using birth control. The tradition and culture expects for a newly married couple to give birth within the first year of marriage. As such, it would also be unlikely for an unmarried woman to be able to obtain any kind of birth control such as birth control pills, diaphragm or IUD prior to marriage. What are readers views on this practice and tradition?

Thanks Tina for asking I write a post on this topic. I enjoyed the research and opportunity to learn more on this topic.

The New York Times has been running a special series this past week about Arab youth and changing perceptions. Two of the articles were specific to Saudi Arabia. One was about male youth in the Kingdom and focused on two cousins who both lived and worked in Riyadh. The reporter was with these two cousins and learned their views on life, what they thought on various issues and how they lived. The complete article can be viewed at this link:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/12/world/middleeast/12saudi.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Many blogs which focus on Saudi Arabia have made mention of the NY Times piece. I had debated but then (obviously) ultimately decided to comment upon the article here and open up for YOUR comments and thoughts.

While I believe the piece is well-written (as one would expect from a NY Times journalist) I am a little bit disconcerted on the picture it portrays and wonder to myself, how many Americans who read this piece and know little about the Kingdom will come away with the view that it is representative of all Saudi youth? After all, compared to many other newspapers, the NY Times is overall well respected.

In my view, I wish the journalist had added a caveat that the views expressed represent a small segment of Saudi society and Saudi youth and not representative of the views of the entire country. For example, the majority of the young unmarried Saudi males whom I know in the 18 – 30 age range are very respectful of women in the country, whether they are Saudi nationals or not. None of the young Saudi males I know would give a woman or a couple in a restaurant a hard time because a woman was either sitting by herself waiting for a companion or that she chose to uncover in the restaurant. I felt that the article illustrated double standards among the young men it portrayed as far as having one set of rules and regulations for the women in their family and another set of rules and regulations for themselves when attempting to flirt or make contact with Saudi women whose families were not known to them.

I did not like how the journalist focused on how the two young men had difficulty using eating utensils properly and remarked later that they were more accustomed to eating with their hands. It is also NOT NOT NOT typical to live in a home with ones mother, father, father’s second wife and the combined children. But again, now that it has been printed in the New York Times this will make it the norm for those who do not know any better about life in the Kingdom. And while some Saudi homes will have a room where one will sit on cushions on the floor rather than couches and chairs to me the article seemed to imply that the entire house was sparsely furnished with no furniture or pictures adorning the walls.

The cousins comments on what is Jihad and their views of Jihad lead room for misinterpretation as well. And, does it really reflect the majority view among Saudi male youth?

I encourage everyone to read the article and then respond with your comments about your knowledge and perception of male youth as well as whether you think the article portrayed an accurate snapshot of male youth in the Kingdom.

In spite of all efforts to preserve the sanctity of marriage, divorce continues to rise in the Kingdom whether with a Saudi or non-Saudi spouse. In the Kingdom, divorce and custody of children is based on the Islamic or Shariah law. Any child born with a Saudi father is viewed as a Saudi citizen and naturally a muslim. When an American woman marries a Saudi man and lives in the Kingdom, Islamic/Shariah law prevails. The US embassy does not intervene in child custody disputes between Americans and Saudis.

In the case of a divorce, if an American woman is married to a Saudi, she likely loses her sponsor (her husband) and therefore required to leave the Kingdom. Because under Islamic law the (Saudi) children are awarded to the father so in many cases the American woman must leave the Kingdom without her children.

Typically under Shariah law, a mother (muslim or non-muslim) in the Kingdom can maintain custody of her male children until the age of nine and maintain custody of female children until the age of seven after which custody is reverted to the father. If a divorced mother continues to have custody beyond those ages may depend on the father and the relationship between the divorced couple. And naturally the Saudi courts wish to have any child of divorced parents in the Kingdom continue to be raised in an Islamic environment.

Determination of visitation rights and custodial rights when a Saudi man and woman are divorced from one another also is influenced by the relationship between the divorced couple, since the man will usually have custody in accordance to Shariah.

While dated from 2003, this International Herald Tribune article is an informative read about an American woman who had been married to a Saudi and involved in a custody dispute:

http://www.iht.com/articles/2003/07/01/edsidd_ed3_.php

For further information on divorce and child custody, the US State Department has a very good link:

http://www.travel.state.gov/family/abduction/country/country_517.html

Also the web site Expert Law provides much information and details about Shariah law, divorce and child custody:

http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family_law/islamic_custody.html

Lastly, if one needs to identify a lawyer in the Kingdom, this site provides a list of law firms: http://www.hg.org/firms-saudiarabia.html

Thanks to Khalid for asking that a specific post be composed about the distinctions between having a Saudi or non-Saudi husband. Which is better? Marrying within your own “kind” or venturing out into a bi-cultural relationship where the differences in nationality may be the least of the distinctions? Of course a major factor to take into consideration are the individuals themselves, their ability to communicate, their respective values. These factors are core to any successful relationship.

But when one looks closely at a non-Saudi woman choosing to marry a Saudi there are so many variables on whether the relationship will be successful. There are vast differences in culture and customs and particularly so when the marriage is between someone from the West to a Saudi. Language and religion can be key factors as well. And additionally, family (on both sides) can have a major role and impact on the success (or failure) too.

I remember prior to when my Saudi husband and I married. There were a number of “nay-sayers” with comments like “what, are American men not good enough….why can’t you stick to your own kind….the majority of American to Saudi marriages fail…you know him now outside of KSA but when you get there you’ll find yourself married to a stranger.”

And in a post-911 world, US-Saudi marriages likely come under more scrutiny and not just by that embassy official looking at the passport when the Saudi husband wishes to accompany his wife on a visit back to the States, but by citizens on both sides. There are many (Americans and Saudis alike) who will raise the eyebrows and either with their words or expressions question why an American and a Saudi would wish to become involved in a post-911 world where additional scrutiny is taken on the relationship and there are so many from both sides who believe a US-Saudi marital relationship is not a wise move.

But on the main theme of this post, I don’t think there are specific distinctions whether the wife is American, British, German, Dutch, Japanese, Pakistani, Syrian, etc., and married to a Saudi. As long as the communication, love, respect, values and partnership is there, any relationship will have a good chance of success.

People will talk. In the same vein there will be questions or comments about the wife’s nationality or the husband being Saudi, even say when two Americans marry one another, people may find some issue to “bash” about if for whatever reason they do not respect or like the spouse. Yes; with diverse cultures and backgrounds there are the additional remarks made that can place pressure on a couple. My suggestion is to talk about this issue and determine how as a husband-wife team one would respond and present a cohesive front.

When Khalid asked me to post on this subject, he made a reference to a Saudi who was denied a visa when wishing to travel to the States with his American wife for a visit. Sure, one could easily imagine how such an action could change his perspective on the States and Americans, but instead, he chose to respect decisions made and not let that impact on his view of America and Americans. That is commendable.

When coming to the Kingdom (as well as most places in the Middle East/Arab world) you will hear and see references to the hookah or hubbly-bubbly or sheesha. It is not unusual to come to a home or to an estraha (small farm) and be offered to smoke the hookah. It is generally accepted for both men and women to smoke the hookah and does not have the same negative stigma such as perhaps smoking cigarettes or cigars.

In Jeddah there are now many coffee shops or “hookah bars” when men and women can sit together. They can not only order their non-alcoholic beverages but have a hookah brought to their table as well. In addition to being offered the wide variety of coffees, teas and juices they will find an assortment of hookah tobaccos to choose from as well.

So what exactly is the origin of the hookah and how did it all get started?

According to www.hookahcompany.com:

Whereas www.hookahlounge.net states: Hookah History

Hookah was originated in India and was called Nargile. If translated to English, Nargile means coconut. That is exactly what hookah was made from - coconut shells. The Nargiles were simple, primitive, and rugged in design.

Nargiles popularity spread to Iran and then the Arab world and Turkey. However, it was in Turkey - in around 16th century - that hookah was developed and advanced close to what it looks like today. This was mainly for the fact that the Hookah was more popular among the upper class and the rugged design had to change.

Hookah started its main popularity in Turkey coffee shops. A hookah bar waiter was treated as a chef as its preparation was complex and had to be done carefully.

Hookah culture then migrated to other Middle Eastern countries such as Lebanon, Syria, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirate, Morocco, and others. It was know as different names in different countries:

• Saudi Arabia - Hubble Bubble
• Egypt & Morocco - Shisha
• Lebanon & Syria - Argile
• Iran - Ghelyoon

Hookah is now a very popular smoking device used all around the world.

Now in order to smoke the hookah there are some steps that must be taken in preparation (the hookah lounge website accompanies these instructions with graphics):

Following is the instruction on how to prepare a hookah along with tips on how to get the best out of your hookah.

Before you start the following steps, wash your hookah thoroughly. This gets the old tobacco smell and dirt (and coal ashes) out. Don’t ever use the old water in the vase.

1. Fill the vase with water

2. Place the middle section in place

3. Place the tray on the argile.

4. Put the hose on the hookah

5. Pack the bowl with tobacco

6. Place the aluminum foil on top of the bowl

7. Put holes in the aluminum foil

8. Light coals and put them on the hookah head

9. Smoke the hookah

The tobacco which one smokes with the hookah comes in many flavors. When buying the tobacco it is usually in a clear plastic pouch or bag and moist to the touch. Most hookah tobaccos are based on fruit flavors and extracts.

Now I cannot comment personally on smoking the hookah but I do enjoy being where the hookah is smoked. I find the aroma of the tobacco to be very pleasant and the sound of the bubbling water as one draws upon the hookah to smoke to be a relaxing and soothing sound.

Bicultural Relationships: An American Husband and Saudi Wife Speak Out

First, thanks for your cooperation in responding to my questions which I’m sure in turn will also generate a lot of additional comments from readers of my blog.

To begin with, how, when and where did the two of you meet one another?

Well Carol we met through a family member, whom I had known for a few months. After asking him about Islam, he invited me to a family gathering where he introduced me to a young lady (my wife) who he said I could learn a lot about Islam from her. So we talked supervised of course, about Islam, and she told me she would arrange for me to go to the AWARE center to learn more and she would accompany me. Well this kicked off a very close friendship in a sense of religion, not going to dinner or anything.

Did you have a Saudi style courtship or a typical American courtship with dating?

I wouldn’t label our relationship as a traditional Saudi Courtship; this would forbid her from ever being able to teach me about Islam. Also it wasn’t a typical American courtship either, we never went on a “date” so to speak. Our relationship was never more than her helping me convert to Islam.

How long did you know one another before broaching the topic of marriage? Maybe 5 months

At what point in the relationship were families informed? And what was the initial reaction of the respective families? Her family was asked about the marriage after they met me. All of her close family accepted it, although her other brothers & sisters from different mothers despised the thought. Obviously we went ahead with it anyway.

What kind of a wedding did you have? Were you both Muslim prior to your marriage?

We had a traditional Gulf wedding. Of course we were both Muslims. Islamic law requires this.

How have your families accepted your marriage? Did her family ever make any efforts to match her up with a Saudi man when they learned she was interested in a Western man? My family being conservative Catholics were a little annoyed but soon came to terms with the idea. Now the relationship with my wife and my family seems to be stronger than mine hamdullah.

How long have you and your spouse been married? Almost 1 year

Did you require any special approvals for your marriage? And if so, were they easy or difficult to obtain? LOL ok we had hard times with this. I had to take part in 6 Islamic classes, be certified as a Muslim through the Ministry of Justice. That was easy! The difficult part came when we wanted to go to the courts and sign the marriage papers. My wife’s father has passed away and as you know in Islam the father or brother is required to approve the marriage with the courts. So we had a headache trying to prove the death of her father to the Ministry of Justice. This took 3 months! Then we had to have her oldest brother come and approve the marriage. (he was from a different mother than my wife) and he refused, so we were thrown another curve ball. Well after a few weeks we received the death certificate of her father, and it usually states the names of his children on the back of it, and hamdullah it didn’t. So the courts accepted the death certificate. But we still had no one to sign for my wife. By this time we were very frustrated with the whole process. My wife and I then went to the Undersecretary for the Ministry of Justice, to ask for help. He quietly talked to my wife and I individually and then together. When our meeting with him was over he wrote a formal letter to the Ministry of Justice Sunni marriage courts requesting they accept us to marry without family present. And so we went that day with an hour left before they close the marriage office and found a soldier and a police officer to be our witnesses and were finally married with the courts. The wedding took place a month later. Hamdullah

What were some of the greatest challenges you and your spouse encountered due to having a bi-cultural marriage? How did you resolve those challenges? Carol the only problem we faced was culture. As you may know most all GCC citizens have a house maid. In the United States this is unheard of. So I had to get used to the fact another human being was going to live with us. But it only took me a day to understand why they have house maids. Most people think it’s because GCC citizens are rich so they have a maid. This isn’t the case. The reasons behind this practice are to have free time to enjoy the marriage and develop a strong bond between one another. So I thought about it and it’s true. My mother was always busy cleaning or cooking or working or washing clothes and barely had free time to be with the family. Also the culture where we as men don’t bring our single friends to our home when my wife is home, this was hard to understand, but again my wife had a great explanation. This is so the single man doesn’t have thoughts or see my wife in any other way.

What advise would you give to other Western men who may be thinking of marrying a Saudi woman?

Get to know the culture in the Middle East especially KSA’s culture. i.e; Family values, dress, Islam. After you know these things you will not only marry a wonderful wife, you will have a lifelong best friend, and the only thing that can change this is Allah. I have never been happier in my life hamdullah.

And what about a Saudi woman who is involved with a Western man? What should she know? What questions should she ask of him?

Ok Carol this is a hard question to answer but I will give it a shot. She should know a little about the liberal way of life. But if a Western man wants to have a successful marriage to a Saudi woman he has to be the one that changes his way of life. I find it will be easier for him than her, and this is due to the way of life here. If anyone needs me to be clearer I will discuss on a one-on-one basis.

Again, thank you so very much for taking the time to answer my questions. I wish you both all the very best!

Living in the Kingdom requires the ability to be adaptable, especially when coming from a diverse and opposite culture such as in the West.  And it is not only the expats who have to adapt to the culture of the Kingdom but Saudis as well and particularly if a Saudi has been outside of the Kingdom for a period of time.
 
So for whom is it easier?  Is it easier for the Saudi coming back in after being outside or for the expat coming in either for a job or marriage?  And thinking of the Saudi, is it overall easier for them to go outside of the Kingdom and come back in, since their eyes are wide open and know what to expect?  Or do you think that having been outside and living, experiencing differing cultures on a day-to-day basis make it harder on them to return and adapt again to the life and cultures in the Kingdom than for the expat choosing a different way of life?  How does being outside of the Kingdom change a Saudi?  Is it more of a transition for the Saudi men or the Saudi women?
 
I’ve written previous posts on adapting to the Kingdom and will continue to say, it is not for everyone.  Of course adaptation and successful adaptation depends on a number of factors which include where is one located; what brought them to the Kingdom; what environment and social strata they are living in within the Kingdom; how much advance research was done prior to arrival in the Kingdom and naturally the level of ones patience, tolerance and receptiveness to new environments and customs.  If someone comes to the Kingdom and spends the majority of their time on a Western compound which can be comparable to a small American town, they may feel little restriction or change.  On the other hand, if one is immersed into a traditional Saudi environment which practices segregation and little English is spoken, the changes would be great and it is essential to be prepared for the new environment.
 
Those just barely touch on the aspects of the expat coming to the Kingdom.  But what about the Saudi who has been outside?  I would think that the changes are greatest for the Saudi woman in the sense of the freedoms she would experience as compared to life inside the Kingdom.  If  she chooses, she may have the opportunity to drive, to go out freely without worrying about an accompanying mahrem, pursue classes and lectures not available yet to women in the Kingdom, to cover less or not at all, move freely in a non-segregated society, go the theatre, cinema, museums and other outings of interest to her.  Most of these opportunities apply to the man as well but these are also activities he can routinely do in the Kingdom albeit in a segregated environment (with the exception of theatres and cinemas except in special circumstances).
 
And for the more modern forward Saudi, if single, he or she can mix with the opposite sex and date.  He or she can participate in group activities that are not offered in the Kingdom.
 
At the same time, the Saudi who is outside of the Kingdom will have other transitions too due to the change of location and culture.  Domestic help may not be available or as easily available and a family support network may not be close at hand either.  Many Saudis are satisfied and comfortable with their routine and practices in the Kingdom and therefore may feel like a fish out of water in a new and what to them could be compared as an exotic environment.  Just like the Kingdom is not for everyone, the West is not for everyone either.
 
I’d like to hear from Saudis and non-Saudis on their experiences with transitions.  I’d like to hear about the transitions coming in to the Kingdom, returning to the Kingdom and going outside of the Kingdom

Tribute to Vera

Maybe Mother’s Day is not celebrated as widely or openly in the Kingdom as other parts of the world but it is a good time to reflect and remember the love of a Mother.  In this regard, I’m going to be more personalized and share some thoughts about my own mother, Vera.  She’s no longer on this Earth; she passed away several years ago.  I can now talk and write about her without breaking down but the dull ache and throb of missing her has not gone away.

She was born in the United States of parents of European heritage.  She grew up in a large and boisterous family.  She met my Dad when she was still a high school teenager at a local roller skating rink.  They married when she finished high school.  During those times (late 1940’s) most women did not think about University beyond high school but rather getting married and beginning a family, which is exactly what Vera did.

She gave birth and raised five children of her own.  She was a traditional, loving and protective mother.  We lived in the rural countryside of Northwestern Pennsylvania.  Among my special memories were the times when my mother would take me and my siblings into the forest behind our house.  We would go hiking and then before getting too tired, she’d teach us how to make a teepee such as those used by the Indians.  We’d gather branches and sticks and she always remembered to come prepared with rope and shears.  After making our teepee, then we’d fix a ring of stones and prepare a fire.  While the fire was blazing she’d bring out a bag with sandwiches made using her home baked bread.  Dessert was the best treat of all, marshmallows which we roasted over the flames of the fire.

The times when I was home sick from school she was not only mom and nurse but my companion.  Since becoming a mother myself and raising a child, I now realize how much of her day she dedicated to me when I was feeling poorly.  She would entertain me all day by reading to me, making me paper dolls and wardrobes to play with or even stitching by hand new dresses for my dolls.

She never failed to be present at all the various school activities of all of us.  She also made sure we studied well and knew how to do different chores and tasks.  She tolerated our endless pets as well as the various fashion fads we all went through.

She was always the first to awaken and last to retire at night.  All the meals were homecooked to include her regularly making several batches of bread each week.  With the gained experience I now have over the years of my own motherhood, I can only shake my head in wonder as to how did she do it all?

She and my father did divorce after 27 years of marriage and at that time, my mother had to learn to support herself and become self-sufficient.  Not an easy feat for a traditional Betty Crocker model in her late 40’s.  However she rallied herself and enrolled in nursing school with my sister.  They were a mother-daughter team and coached and supported each other through the years of training and study.

I saw my mother metamorphous from a traditional homemaker to a conscientious working woman.  She continued to be “super mom” as well as earn a rightly deserved reputation as “super nurse.”  She was compassionate about her patients and chose to specialize as an intensive care nurse.

In her later years when one hopes that it is the time for retirement and appreciation of life, her life was not necessarily easy.  She was a single woman on a fixed income.  But she rarely complained.  All she wanted was to know her children, grandchildren and great-children were healthy, happy and settled.

Throughout all her years she easily reminded one of a protective tigress guarding her cubs.  No man was ever good enough for her daughters and no woman could measure up as a wife for her son.  Yes, in that respect, I believe she was typical of mother’s everywhere around the world.

She had such a wry and unexpected sense of humor.  To her, the glass was always half-full and never half-empty.  Yet there were times when raising five children who could sometimes all get under each other’s nerves, her patience might be a little short.  One of her typical sayings when she simply had enough if several of us were whining at once over trivial things such as “she borrowed my coat and didn’t ask” or “he ate the last cupcake” she’d place a hand on her hip, furrow her brow and exclaim in exasperation “if you are looking for sympathy you’ll find it in the dictionary between $hit and syphilis.”  Fortunately she did not say that often but it’s a phrase none of us ever forgot.  She also encouraged us to remain positive and optimistic regardless of moods to the contrary.  She’d instruct us to always keep a smile on her face for not only could it perhaps brighten someone else’s day but it might make people wonder what you are up to!  Oh yes, that was my mom and her personality!

She passed away unexpectedly and in her sleep when I was on a diplomatic posting in India.  Unfortunately her passing coincided with 9-11 and as a result, it was impossible for me to get a flight for her funeral services.  I had to deal with some issues regarding closure and feeling cheated from getting to say a final goodbye.

However in closing this post, cherish your mother wherever you are.  If she is no longer with you, continue to honor her memory.  Mine may be physically gone but her spiritual, emotional and loving presence remains with me daily.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers everywhere in the world!

I know I did an earlier post on Waste & Excess in the Kingdom. It is a fact that those habits do abound. However, I must also say that since writing that post one Saudi woman wished to apprise me of her own experiences within her family to illustrate that not all Saudis are alike in their practices.

She comes from a well-known and highly educated family. Her family could easily provide many luxuries if they so chose but at the same time the parents wanted to reinforce appreciation to their children and for them not to naturally take anything for granted. The woman and her family were routinely given various chores and responsibilities while growing up in spite of the home having a housemaid. They were also taught to respect the housemaid and not view her as an indentured servant without feelings or emotions.

She remembers watching her mother when she was a young girl and how her mother held a professional job and managed a home. She recalls watching her mother use a typewriter (yes, typewriter; not a computer) for correspondence and at age 12, learning from her mom how to type and memorize the letters on a keyboard. Her father was busy with various business activities and he would ask for her to assist with small tasks related to the business whether filing, answering the phone or typing. He’d also reward her for her work.

The whole family enjoys reading and then discussing what they have read. In the beginning either her mother or father would read to her but as she grew older and could understand the words, she’d simply beg them to keep getting new books for her to discover.

The daughter now has her own career and her mother continues to work. The mother works with students and routinely takes them out on field trips and excursions to broaden their exposure and views of the Kingdom and the world.

Customer Support in the Kingdom can be a real mixed bag and requires a lot of patience. For example, if you subscribe to the Aljawal (STC) mobile services you will be connected to an automated menu with a grating male british accented voice “Welcoming you to Aljawal customer service.” The first menu alone provides 9 choices of options to select but not a one of them will connect you to a customer service representative! The convoluted menu choice is very unclear and when I break down to call it is usually because I have a problem I cannot resolve and need to speak to a PERSON. It can easily take 20 minutes of navigating the automated options before finally finding one which leads to a real person. At no point does it give a choice “if you have a problem and need to speak with a customer service representative press 0.” I also learned that unlike other automated systems there does not seem to be a bypass where pressing 0, # or * may lead you directly to a person.

Once you finally do reach a person IF they speak English they will likely be very polite. It is evident they’ve been trained on what to say but politeness does not equate to service. Most of the time you will ultimately be told they will make a trouble report and forward it to the service department! With any luck, ones problem may get resolved in ten days. In my case, my phone simply stopped allowing me to send SMS messages. When I attempted to send one I’d get the error message “Message sending failed, not allowed” in spite of my phone bill fully paid with credit and having the right SIM centre number programmed. Ultimately this error requires some kind of resetting of my phone from the STC computer centre to correct but that can usually take 10 days to 2 weeks. Why do I sound so sure? This is a recurring problem that crops up every 2-3 months.

Orbit customer service can also be as irritable. You again go through the usual automated voice messaging system and if you’re lucky, it will stay in English and not switch to Arabic which can create some challenges! A person will eventually respond but most of the time their customer service reps do not speak English so you will keep getting put on hold (if not inadvertently disconnected) until finally someone who speaks English is found. Again be patient and you will listen to a lot of loud elevator music during this experience as well.

SABB bank is equally as confusing with a mirage of many selections and choices without leading to a person. Why do these automated customer service messages think I have the time let alone want to listen to all 25 selections and choices they may be offering?

I have not been in the States for quite some time so I can’t say if customer service and voice support is as convoluted in the States or not. I can say I do not recall such extensive and long-winded automated voice systems which allow ones frustration to build rather than subside.

I have learned that most Saudis when requiring customer service or assistance try to use their Wasta and personal friendships rather than go through the standard route of calling a business’ support number. I can certainly understand why!