Saudi Arabia: Understanding Marriage



11 Responses

  1. very very funny and accurate….my Indian husband agrees!!!

  2. This is the just bullshit. complete utter bullshit. The idea that once married one’s parents remain the ‘project leader’ is just so unrelated to any kind of reality in the US and I doubt it is even true in Saudi Arabia. Given US history, it simply was not possible to retain anything like an arranged marriage system. Families are simply far smaller than in a place like Saudi Arabia. Cousin marriage seems to be the backbone of the arranged marriage and in the US cousin marriage is frowned upon.

  3. But Jerry…it doesn’t have to refer to the USA…BUT for Indians in the USA I can tell you from experience that this rings true to a large degree. Families are far more communal and this is expected.

  4. I disagree with the Unix comparison. I don’t think a arranged marriage is easier to reboot the a Love connection unless children are held hostage to make the woman submit.

  5. @oby

    I understand that it doesn’t only refer to the USA but this blog is written by an American who was married happily to a Saudi (in a non-arranged marriage I must assume).

  6. Totally dis-agree with “the best comparison i have ever read” ..more like the worst in my mind.Just way too generalised statements on both sides..everyone has different circumstances ..then considering difference in culture/religion/values…

  7. its true for south asian countries

  8. Jay, Vancouver and surrounding area is full of neighbourhoods with mega houses with multi-generational South Asian and Chinese families consisting of grandparents, parents and down to great grandbabies with maybe an aunt or uncle thrown in. The matriarch and patriarch control the household. Sometimes I envy their large and extended family groups and sometimes I’m relieved that I don’t have to deal with them.

  9. Wendy…

    I feel the same way…kind of a love/hate thing.

  10. Most arranged marriages ( atleast those i know of) are more a inroduction kind of thing, the parents introduce the boy/girl and if intertested they proceed , of course i only know it from the indian context and that too my family , where they meet, date, lunch and after a couple of months decide. BUT>>>

    my personal opinion is
    If i’m old enough and capable enough to be married and carry all responsibilities of a married life i’m sure as hell capabale enough of selecting my partner …

    Maybe if i there was no F and i was single with no one to meet i would have asked my parents to inroduce me to eligible single men but i woukd never never think of interfearing in my kids marriage or even setting them up on a date… i would however need all the scoop once they have picked their mate 🙂

  11. Don’t really agree with this one at all.

    I go for love matches (or rather they just kinda happen), but I am exceedingly picky about who I choose to date. I try to take into consideration personality, intelligence, values, motivation (are they motivated to reach their goals? how motivated are they?), age, and experience. Also, of course, attraction but attraction includes more than just physical attraction. So I take into consideration the “arranged marriage” things as well as the “love match” things.

    I get my family’s opinion on whoever I choose to date to see whether or not they think the other person is a good fit for my personality. I don’t use it as a deciding factor, but more as good advice.

    Whether it’s a love match or arranged, the responsibility for whether or not it lasts is placed on the couple who are married- not the family. If the couple decides it isn’t worth it because of family opinion, then that is a decision the couple makes for what they think is best for them. When a family prevents a relationship from taking place because the other person comes from the “wrong” background or whatever (which still happens in some places), then I consider this a tragedy and may be the one time I’d place the blame at the relationship ending on the family.

    As for washing dishes, etc. it totally depends on the individuals. Sometimes this is influenced by culture, but it is still up to the individuals- love match or not.

    “If it crashes, that’s the end”….then why are there so many love matches that crash repeatedly and then the couple is still together? Maybe it has more to do with persistence, love for each other, and willingness to make the marriage work?

    If you want a reliable marriage then pick a reliable person and be one yourself. Love each other, and be there for each other. It’s a simply thing really. Just make sure you choose wisely.

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