Saudi Arabia: Newlyweds – Watch Out for Pitfalls!

When a couple is newly married there is a period of discovery and exploration.  This is especially true in Saudi Arabia when a couple may have had an arranged marriage and therefore not have had much time prior to the marriage to get to know one another.

The old quote that ‘you don’t know somebody until you live with them’ is quite true!  It’s not a surprise that every individual has multiple faces such as the face that is put on in public, the private face and the natural face that is the essence of the individual.

Newlyweds want to make the best impression on each other and will put on their best face.  However there are some common pitfalls that can cause dissent between couples.

This link identifies ten of the most common issues that can cause dissent between a couple.   Personally, Abdullah and I usually had different views on numbers 1 and 3 in the list!  How about you?

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16 Responses

  1. My partner and I are both united in our dislike of doing the dishes. This works well tho coz we’re both happy to let them pile up for days on end until we realise we are out of plates or forks then we somehow end up doing them together. None of this drying nonsense tho. No patience for that.

    Oh and he always gets a big sincere “thank you” for it. He once told me all he needs is an acknowledgement and if that’s all it takes to keep him eager to help then it’s a small price to pay.

    I never let the cleaner do the dishes coz it causes me more grief than if I had just done them myself. Our cleaner’s personal hygiene standards are not even close to the level of mine. I just end up having to wash them again and that upsets me.

  2. We never had a problem with those ten! My list would include his not pushing in the chair to the table all the way, allowing the bathroom rug to be crooked and not wiping up crumbs on the counter when he makes a sandwich. I never cared about the toilet seat being up or down, which way the toilet paper rolls or how you squeeze the tube of toothpaste.

  3. Separate toilets ppl..its works a treat. I think things that could have a real impact could be communication break-downs, personality clashes, if a partner cannot read the others emotions and is oblivious to the problem, not being an involved father/mother and i think respect is a huge one. Wether it be culture/religion or personal opinion when you are married to that person for life you need respect and of course a good sense of humour to get you through those meltdown moments lol

  4. Issue for my marriage is cutting me off when I am still speaking, not getting to the bottom line in a conversation, financial issues, in-laws and the absolute problem is laundry in how it is done. I prefer clothes to come out a dryer immediately not sitting in the dryer and wrinkle. As both of us hate ironing. Laundry will never be a deal breaker in my marriage as I am married to a Saint. It takes a lot to put up with me.

  5. Bigstick’s comment about his wife made me laugh thinking of years ago when a friend stayed with us for a few days. I still recall Amy asking about my husband in an incredulous voice, “Does he *ever* sin?”

    Since that day I dubbed him St. Andrew! 😀 He’s definitely a great guy when the only complaints I have about him are those things ^^.

    (OK, he does leave water bottles on the counter sometimes and doesn’t always straighten the shoes he leaves on the porch, but …) 🙂

  6. For me, the decibel level has to be kept down. It’s non-negotiable. But as far as things on the list go, I’ve never been married, so I can’t really say. But I do know that I can’t stand housecleaning, especially washing dishes and vacuuming. And item no. 10 would read not ‘Who controls the remote?’ but rather, ‘Are we going to have a TV?’ And for me, the answer to that is no 🙂

  7. caraboska,

    My partner is a workaholic, so the only way I can get him to sit still is to put him in front of the TV :P.

  8. I have to say number 9 is the only issue on that list. Everyone has their own quirks that is what makes us unique. I asked my wife to compare with her other married women family members husbands, she said I rated pretty good. I still promised I would try to clean the sink better after I shaved. Yes, I meant it.

    We blame the kids for number 10, LOL

  9. The only issue for me on that list is number 5, “Who is going to pay?” Contrary to what you may think, we argue over who *gets* to pay rather than who *has* to pay. (We both want to pay.) LOL.

    4 maybe, but we both help out with the dishes and don’t complain. 🙂

  10. StrangeOne, That’s a nice problem to have 😛 Just like the ‘problem’ of a man who shows ‘too much respect’ for his wife 😛

  11. For us it’s the noise level.. he likes the TV /music at a higher vol than i prefer and i constantly ask him to get his ears checked.

    but apart from that ,we were too busy and too much up to our eyeballs in on-call to worry abot tooth.
    Both of us didn’t have too much money as interns to worry about bills or paying them.. bare min..:-)
    once kids came we had so little time that we actually fought about who would change dirty diapers ( therby getting some extra time wit the kid).

  12. I also get mad when he spoils the kids horribly !! more my daughter than son. the baby can do no wrong …

  13. Well, we each have our own bathrooms right now so that is a non-issue. He cleans his and I clean mine. I think the only issue I have is #7. We share chores and have worked out the kitchen I load the dishwasher and he unloads.if there is hand washing I prefer to do it unless he’s cooked something and has the pot stuck and at that point he has to clean the pot. I get the remote in the evening and he can do what he wants with it the rest of the time.

  14. Its a nice topic. I and my wife have very good understanding. We both do every type in the household. She knows if she does not co-operate,I will go for another wife. I know if I do not Co-operate I can not have another wife because I can not afford. So we respect each other and work together, cooking,dishes, gardening ,cleaning, you name it.

  15. I hope you’re joking, Sami. Nice way to treat your wife and get your special favours by threatening to get another wife. That is one of the most disrespectful things I’ve heard in a long time. Rather disgusting in fact. How can one respect a man like that I ask?

  16. We argued for the dishes because I didn’t like to see a accumulated pile, so he learned to wash the dishes before I got home and other times I washed them. About the bedside we took turns because neither had a preference, so sometimes I slept on the right or left.

    This is a funny post.

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