Saudi Arabia: Should Wives Be Kept Separated?

dinarrecaps.com

 

I believe that there are few women who willingly agree to polygamy and especially in Saudi Arabia.  Yes; it is allowable in Islam and allegedly the “right” of the Saudi man to take up to four wives.  You see, most of these men seem to forget that in exercising their right to multiple wives they are “supposed” to meet certain conditions beforehand.

But this post is not about the man’s right to have multiple wives.  My question is whether wives should be purposely kept separated?  Personally I don’t think I could have emotionally handled seeing my late husband with another woman, let alone having an intimate relationship with one.  I believe most women would agree with me on these feelings.

Yet one man in Saudi not only exercised his right to have up to four wives but these women have to interact with each other on a routine basis.  One wife is a student.  One wife is a teacher.  One wife is a principal.  All three of these wives are at the same school.  Apparently the husband admires women in academia for his fourth wife works as an educational supervisor and supervises the school which the other three attend.

The article did not disclose whether the wives had relationships with one another.  All I can say is that I think it would be very awkward.

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51 Responses

  1. I think that its all down to culture and also what is considered as the ‘norm’. I doubt many women would condone this, but maybe they don’t know any different. maybe they are conditioned to think this is okay. Otherwise, they must be suffering in silence, as it is a known fact that females have less authority than males in Saudi Arabia. Do you think this could ever be changed?

  2. Granted it would be awkward for the three women to work together however I think the most challenging situation would be living together! At least these particular women can have minimal contact with one another even if they do work at the same school. Not so if they were to live under the same roof. I’ve known a few women who were forced to live with their co-wives because their husband was not financially able to provide separate housing. I would not want to be in their shoes!

  3. That is a pretty wild arrangement. Wow. :O :O :O It sounds like the perfect argument against polygamy 😛

  4. @Muslim Woman – and ironically one of the alleged requirements of polygamy is for a wife to have her own home!

    On Sat, Nov 24, 2012 at 5:37 PM, American Bedu

  5. Well, I think the most important concern is whether the husband informed the first wife and each succeeding wife that he was already married and that he was planning to marry another to get their full consent being aware of the situation they were entering beforehand. It would also be important to know whether the marriage was a choice of the woman or her family.

    Someone (a woman) tried to explain to me some possible situations as to why polygamy was good. One of the reason she stated (as well as one stated on a fact sheet I saw while there) was that there are more women than men in the world which suggests that some women may never marry. In that case, they deem it as the best way to make sure a sister doesn’t lack a husband to care for her.

    Also if he is a well-respected man with ample means in the kingdom, I could see how the wives (and their families) wouldn’t mind. By the way that some of my first students (in their late teens and early twenties) there swooned over a picture I once showed them of King Abdullah who was about 60 years or more older than them yet a man they deeply admire for the things they say he has done for them, their country and in the world, I’d say if this guy or his family name is well-known and respected, it’s totally possible that the women are happy to be his wives, collectively.

  6. I have wondered about the practice of keeping the wives separated. It seems the Saudi system would be better if it had to be practiced. The few polygimist relationships rumored in the US (yes, underground, it happens) the wives are kept in the same house and they share all the household tasks and childrearing. Here is done as it is illegal so it helps to keep suspicions down and the man in control of the women.
    Polygamy in anchient times was to help with world population and to produce warriors. I think we have enough people in the world now so one man and one wife is a better system for the welfare of them both and their children.

  7. david petraeus might has a better pologmy example! It represent the American ideals which his militry trying to impose on polygamist muslims.

  8. Should wives be kept separated?

    Wives has to be separated in the house no question about that. But it is coincidence that they work together and this is why this story gain media coverage. However, what if the husband downgrade thier statues from wives to goddess, should he then keep them spreated? Saudi Arabia unlike US does not allowe goddes pologmy, only wives polgymy is allowed, so the husband can’t downgrade wives’s statues. The man here can move to the US and downgrade the statues of his wives to goddess and he will be legally permitted and also he will not be alone and might not be critisesed in the media. Goddess polgymy symbolise the freedom America fights for.

  9. Women in Arab countries shud stop chosing to be 2nd/3rd/4th wife of already married RICH man who can give huge dowry, to live a luxurious queen life but give chance to poor man who cant pay much dowry. Its all about choice of woman, nothing force in polygamy. Its impossible to have a forced husband/wife relation.

    And why such rich sheikhs chose to marry more than one? While any other religion allows unlimited wives, Quran is the only book from God which says marry 1 if not more with strict terms and conditions to protect the dignity of poor, helpless women..

    Quran says –
    “Marry ONE, if not two, if not three, if not four then no more”

    Then why these rich sheikhs chose last part (four) the this Quranic verse by ignoring first part(one)?

    Every verse of the Quran came with a purpose. Polygamy verse of Quran came after the war of Uhud when many men died and their wives left as widow with kids and many girls could not find men to marry and society was in trouble. This verse came to protect the dignity of women but not to misuse. Do these men who do polygamy really fulfill the purpose of the polygamy Quranic verse?

    In between, taking one small example, there are 1 million more women in Russia than men, what is the solution if not polygamy?

    These unmarried women pollute society, breaks already married people’s relations. In other words, Russia has largest number of prostitutes in world, a man in Russia play around with 30-40 gals in life without feeling sense of guilt…many times even married men (read in a local website run by a Russian woman)

  10. Personally I don’t think I could have emotionally handled seeing my late husband with another woman, let alone having an intimate relationship with one. I believe most women would agree with me on these feelings.
    ——————————————————-
    Not always,we feel when something happens that we dont do/like is not out of choice of the people but forced one but reality is not what we think/feel. see this man having 3 wives and 24 children. Read how he got 3 wives..and dating 2 girls at the same time:

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/modern-polygamist-family-risking-jail/story?id=14956226#.ULHruYY_Qrw

  11. Yes it is possible to have a force husband/wife relationshiip Wife 1 marries husband. Makes it clear she is not interested in polygamy- he agrees he would never do that. Wife 1 has several children and husband changes his mind. And so sorry- if you divorce me I get the kids.

    Wife 2 maybe be freely choosing a polygamous lifestyle but wife 1 did not. And this is true every time the first wife doesn’t fully embrace the idea. Therefore this scenario has the wives not treated equally- but he doesn’t care and does it anyway.

  12. I do not see any problem here. Polygamy within the limits and conditions of the BOOK “QURAN” is perfectly O K . Wives can mutually decide they want to live separately or in one household.
    So what is the peoblem.
    Qura says ” Do not marry 4 if you can not do justice among all.

  13. There are lots of polygamous areas where the wives all live together. I’m sure it’s difficult for many. It is the norm in polygamous Mormon households isn’t it?

  14. Azad:

    Women are not poor or helpless until men/society create a situation where they construct it to place them at a disadvantage which is the case in all society as they have been based primarily on hate/evil manmade BS religion. This is like asking someone of color if they would like to be a slave to ease their trouble because society/another race has placed them at a disadvantage. It is replusive. Next women do not pollute the enviroment anymore than men. You state that in Russia women outnumber men but this is often due to men’s choices such as extreme alcoholism/cigerette smoking. The disparity doesn’t start until approximately age 45 to 50 until the ration of men to women are on par 1 to 1. Most women don’t want to marry a young man for a husband as it would be like marrying your child and having to raise him again. So ask yourself who is polluting what; the women or is it the men as the men are hard drinkers/smokers/losers? I think women are better off without the loser.

    So Azad, what is your answer to China or India where men outnumber women by close to 2 to 1 in some areas and in other 4 to 1. Should God then tell women to take 2 to 4 husbands. They should be happy with it as they are at least having their sexual desires serviced, right? Maybe you would like to be a multiple husband?

    Butterfly Jewel:

    If women actually want that situation then that is fine. However, Saudi society has constructed a society that extremely limits womens rights and options to include getting employment which then leaves her with little option than to prostitute herself off as a 2, 3, or 4 sex slave (wife).

    Next ratio of men to women in Saudi shows that men currently outnumber women and that ratio is growing.

    Snowman:

    Could you explain your statements again as I am having trouble with what you are stating.

    Wendy:

    No it is not the norm in Mormon households in America ( I don’t think it is the norm in Canada either) as it is illegal. There are certain very small factions such as FLDS such as the one which the leader was arrested and jailed. They (religious sex craven male elite) kick out the male children earlier on, so to keep a larger number of girls to themselves as the girls are brainwashed and sexually molested by the predators. It is about getting it on not about any religious stance. If you study the tenents of BringhamyYoung and Joseph Smith and the insane doctrines you will see the greed for sex and racism. Have you ever read the story of Joseph Smith’s wife? Are you aware of their doctrines on Native Americans?

    Note: It is hard to know what is the norm in illegal polgamous Mormon households since they risk going to jail in the USA as they could be sent to jail. I know there is a book out over the incident on Jeff Warren and it details the abuse. Could be a good read if your interested.

    Sami:

    Here is the interesting thing about all the Abrahamic books regarding polgamy that people really fail to state. Virtually all relations ended very poorly for all the men/women/children and created divisiveness and hate amongst their own. You would think men would learn that maybe this was the lesson you should be picking up on but instead you listen to your greed of having more than one wife which even in the religious texts shows that more often than not it destroys all involved and casts it seeds of divisiveness into the future.

    .

  15. I don’t think it really matters what we think- the main thing is what the people involved think.

    For me, if I were to be a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th wife of my own choosing (which isn’t ever likely to happen; it’s just not me), I’d want to meet the other wives first. If I thought the other wives were cute, nice, and intelligent enough, then I might be up for some sort of polygamous arrangement. 😉

    Seriously, though, I think it’s better to live with a 2nd wife in the same household and have the husband present for all his children everyday than to live separately as long as the other wife/wives were nice enough people. Save on rent, and if one wife likes to stay at home, it be easier for the other one(s) to work if they wanted.

  16. Separate is best. If I ever lived polygamous lay I would want my place. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to accomodate me and f’sbizarre work hours. Also everyone needs a place of their own. T live like they please and I don’t think it’s very healthy for kids to see their dad go between moms rooms at night per schedule.. Ugh that’s plain disgusting. A least out of sight is out of mind.

    I can’t imagine why any woman would put up with polygamy unless she has no choice.

  17. Bigstick, I said normal in polygamous mormon households. Not ALL mormon households. Of course it is illegal but there is a major polygamous community in British Columbia and another major one across the border in the US and all the documentaries I’ve seen show the wives all living in the same household.

  18. @bigstick1,

    It seems u are not getting what I want to convey. I dont say women pollute society but I mean when large number of men/women doesnt get partner then society is polluted.

    Its not question of smoking/drinking. Now a days both men/women almost equally smoke/drink (say such drinking society say Russia) and women outnumber men. Non drinking society like Arabs also, women outnumber men. What to do in such situation if polygamy is not allowed?

    Regarding, China/India, reason of lesser number of women is female infanticide due fear for huge dowry women has to pay in marriage in India and one child policy in China. Yes, a woman is shared between brothers in many places/culture in India due to this problem.

  19. Sandy, I agree ur point. But this polygamy thing cant be fully blamed on men only. Its not that men do polygamy by making multiple male partners but with “WOMEN” only.

    I have seen so many women who are open to polygamy willingly, not sure out of choice. When I have seen women leading and ready to die for freedom in Arab spring, I dnt see women protesting against polygamy. Women can’t come on consensus on this matter. One section of women wants polygamy and other not. Its all about who gets a husband first and who cant. The same woman who was open to polygamy before marriage, says NO” once she gets a husband(not all cases as so many first wife accepts polygamy too). Again its dowry factor + cuture + man/women population imbalance that causes polygamy. India has 200 million Muslims, Pakistan has 200 million, Indonesia has 220 million Muslims, Bangladesh has 160 million Muslims but its NOT common to have polygamy in these countries while whole Arab has only 18% of world’s Muslim population with few millions and polygamy is common in Arab countries.

    I strongly feel that as long as all partners accept, it shud be allowed to do so. For e.g. in the above link of Mormon man having 3 wives and all party accepts, its against human rights to deny them their rights and put them in jail just because they dont think like I,u,he thinks. And there shud be some solution for men/women imbalance. If not govt shud kill excess men or create more women 🙂

  20. Azah:

    I am not sure where you get your information but current figures show that overall male population worldwide is 101 males to 100 females. Now in certain area that number is skewed such as the Russian territory. I suggest you read about the Russian male and his activities on extreme alcoholism, smoking and other dangerous activities which reduce life expectancy. Now although some women are known to engage in this type of activity they are nowhere near the numbers as men. Next the disparity of male to females in the Russian area does not go beyond the 1 to 1 ratio until after the age of 40 or so. Prior to this the ratio is pretty much equal.

    Next the normal ratio of male births to female births is 105 to 100. In Middle Eastern countries male populations outnumber the female populations until after the age of 64 and still Qatar, Saudi Arabia and UAE still males out number females. The number in the middle east on male to female ratios are at least 107 males to 100 females but most exceed that number including Saudi which is 130 to 100 and Qatar is even greater with at least a 2 males to 1 female ratio.

    Next in the world population of men to women under 65 is currently 102 men to every 100 women.

    So, in other words men outnumber women in almost all societies until they reach anywhere between the age of 45 to 65 however men outnumber women on this planet by at least 33 million or more today.

    So I am lost as to how you get your figures particular in the Middle East.

    Again more male children are born than females and again that ratio normally does not go 1 to 1 until later in life and this has been the consistent trend for human gender ratios. Thus it would seem that in the grand scheme of things humans were meant to be 1 to 1 unless some event creates gender disparity. So in other words, the sexes actually are on an equal level meaning that polygamy/polyandry is never a norm but an abnormal or extreme event.

    So now do you understand what I am trying to convey?

  21. Azad Ali Shah,
    You are correct about some women who also play a part in the destructive form or polygamy. They’re like sharks circling in the water trying to get their teeth into an already married man. And yes, they often change their tune when they are married. It’s alright if it happens to other women- but not to them. FIrst wives are generally a victim though (unless the man lies and the second wife only finds out she’s second AFTER they get married) Sadly that happens too.

    Generally I don’t care if everyone genuinely agrees. But I still don’t think it”s religiously valid in most cases.

  22. @Azad Ali Shah
    I agree with yur views. But it is difficult to make them understand. Please do not strike your head with———

  23. Seems a pretty sick situation to me.

    Anyway, if people want to cohabit and have sex with other people that’s fine by me. As long as everybody gets the same rights. The women should be allowed to have extra husbands and they can also live in the same compound.
    You’ll end up with a kind of Bonobo flange and after all they are our closest relatives on the planet.
    I suppose it’s natural for humans to want to have sex with all and sundry so I think we should let them do it. If a man has four wives and he wants them all under one roof, fine. The women then should be allowed four husbands and they can also live under the same roofs, etc. etc.

    The only problem I have is when people are lied to and/or forced into loving a life they do not wish.
    That includes being forced because some immoral religion makes up unfair rules.

  24. that should be ”living a life they do not want”

  25. “These unmarried women pollute society…” -Azad

    Wow, what an ignorant thing to say!

  26. Sami:

    What is there to understand. Your religion upholds what goes against the natural order which is a 1 to 1 overall. It creates a system whereby one man has a harem and the rest are designated for the slaughter as they are excess and get in the way of the Stud service.

    This religions uses women/girls for sex/breeding and in return throws away men/boys. It has the same basic foundation as FLDS. Read about the Lost Boys of Mormoms. Both systems honor no one and each insults humanity with contradictions, inhumanity, racism, abuse, greed, insult to intelligence, and slavery. It is pathetic that anyone actually believes this stuff if they actually read the entire texts along with the historical evidence.

  27. This is the main idea of God creation ,sex breeding Ann
    D enjoy life. You don’t want to understand the purpose of Gi
    Ods creation

  28. YOU ARE LEARNED. YOU UNDERSTAND EVERYTING BUT YOU JUST ARGUE FOR NOTHING.

  29. Azad Ali Shah, on November 26, 2012 at 4:09 pm said: “These unmarried women pollute society…” .

    Wut a bunch of bakvas, Shiree Azad Ali Shah Sahib ….

  30. Some people love to mis-quote things out of context. Go on 🙂

  31. Aafke-Art,

    Which immoral religion u are talking?
    4 wives is not for sex. Dont see everything through the lense of sex.
    In the world all relgions allow to have millions of wives, except Islam which says 1 first, if not 2, if not 3, if not 4 then no more with strict conditions. U analyse when the verses of polygamy was revealed and for what purpose. Dont just read plain text, thats not Islam.

  32. We live in a world complete confusion and hypocrisy.

    People dont have issues and its legal to:

    -have group sex.
    -do adultery
    -animal sex
    -multiple sex partners
    -sleeping with ex
    -sleeping with neighbors
    -cheating wives & sleeping around with others
    -multiple girl friends
    ..
    All without declaring, hidden…all sort of cheating..
    Note that these are all legal as long as all partners accept & its hidden from other partners/public.

    But people have problems with Islamic polygamy which declares openly in public and accepting those party as legal life partner with personal choice…with terms and condition.

    Amazing..what a culture..what a society!!

  33. I don’t think anyone has a problem with polygamy Islamic or otherwise as long as its between consenting adults. I however do have a big issue with polygamy when the wife does not care to be in a polygamous marriage and the husband states Islam to go ahead and marry another. I have a bigger issue if she cannot leave the marriage due to any no f reasons. And no it’s not easy to get out of a marriage for a woman since it is not a valid reason for Khula. We ave personal experience of bribing a judge and letting go of mahr to gt a loved one out of the farce she was in. If her husband had had an affair divorce would ave been a piece of cake for her. Or o we thought at that time.

    Affairs r bad and so is forced polygamy…

  34. Sam(i):

    Yes to both.

    Azad:

    All of what you state exists within Islam anyway with the bonus of keeping women stiffled, enslaved, demeaned, dependent, etc. However, it ensures that it is all hidden just not talked about in public. I have heard Saudi has the biggest lines to Bahrain during the weekends for drinks (spirits) and a little more. So please spare us the soap box.

    Along with that it ensures with polygamy that a large number of men will be without women as men outnumber women particular in the middle east (pearly boys make up the difference apparently). Next it allows men to cheat on their wives by not telling them that they have other wives and other children which then strains the relationship and finances which generally impacts the first wife and children of the first wife the most which in turns creates divisiveness and hatred between the family. Next it creates a system where women are dependent upon men rather than themselves, calls them a walking vagina, insults their intelligence as they apparently are not as intelligent in mind or religions, etc. Next it creates hate towards homosexuals, people of color, and other belief systems.

    Now if people are allowed to have multiple partners and that was allowed both ways such as men having 4 wives, women having 4 husbands, men or women being equally able to divorce or be gainfully employed without constraints then fine no one has a problem that as long as everyone agrees but that is not how it works nor is this practiced in Islamic countries. In Islamic countries women are treated like children and forced into a situation of polygamy because she has no choice but to accept it. It is a rare woman who truly wants to be in a polygamous relationship. Now a man is allowed to have multiple wives but a women is stuck not matter what and then she has her children taken away if she wants to leave. Islam in how it is practice has made women into sex slaves nothing more where men can practice legalized adultery who can marry and divorce on a whim. It is an abusive situation that respects no one and forces often times brute force through intimidation, imprisonment, harassment, torture, oppression, subjugation, and more by means of culture, traditons and the religion itself. in every known Islamic country through the use and teachings of this religion it upholds some forms of intimidation and subjugation tactics due to the religion itself. Whether you agree or not there is a reason why people do not want Islam/other religions to be part of government or education as it systematically becames an oppressive state for far too many. It is best to have religion remain a personal matter which stays in the home and where people can take it or leave it without reprecussions.

    I have talked with numerous women on this matter and as far as most are concerned they would rather a man cheat on them than have a second wife. The reason being is there is often times no investment in the affair but there is in the second wife. Next many would prefer being able o just leave and they themselve can find another mate or a sexually partner (most often not one who is married). Most women perfer calling their own shots and not allowing men or their family to chart the course of their lives as they are adult and capable of making their own way.

    Ask yourself would you be satisifed as a man with the same constrains as a women? If the answer is no then why should they accept it any better then you would.

    Now let me ask you doesn’t it state in the Quran that you should not make haram what has not been explicitedly stated as haram? Thus you would make what is Halal then harem? Isn’t that correct?

  35. Radha, waw! She had to pay back the mahr? Even though she provided the sex the mahr is payment for? Islamic marriage is worse than a prostitution deal, the woman does not even get to keep the money she earned…..

  36. @Afke – at that point we didn’t want to have anything to do with him or his mahr, freedom from his cluthes and legally was all we desired.

    leaving the Mahr was the least of our worries, our issue was having to beg and bribe the judge for a divorce to get her an escape from abuse !!!!

  37. Again i’m not saying that’s how it is in islamic law, Sharia could very well be fair and fine but that’s unfortunately how it is in saudi. and good or bad she as a saudi woman had no choice but to work with the law ..

  38. @Bigstick of 28 nov
    Your problem is that you want what you wish. You do not like the wish of God and His Commandments. That is the problem. Correct yourself and get the benefit from The Lord.

  39. @x-Moozlum of 28 Nov
    Have you ever been to night clubs? What unmarried women do there and why they go there? THINK TWICE..

  40. I think it’s interesting so many think it’s a either/or comparison.
    A cheater is a cheater no matter how many wives he has. Polygamy doesn’t prevent a cheater from cheating.
    And yes, if a man has an affair there is at least a chance the marriage can be salvaged. If he marries a second wife there is absolutely no chance.

  41. I agree. Cheating is cheating. Whether the man calls it his girlfriend, mistress or second wife, it’s cheating.
    If you made a deal together to be faithful to each other. If you made a deal that you both can have other partners the it’s the deal.

    I have a problem when men set up rules which allow themselves to cheat, but making sure women have no freedoms and no way out.

    People should be free to live the life they choose, but not to lie and cheat. If a man wants to have sex (yes, it’s really all about getting booty) with a lot of women, and all these women are ok with it (highly unlikely), then I say have at it. But don’t tell the women they can’t have other men for themselves.
    If men want to marry men and women want to marry women, be my guest. Everybody should be allowed to marry everybody else as far as I am concerned. As long as everybody has free choice and the same rights.

  42. @sami,
    Unmarried women go to nightclubs for dancing, considering that is what nightclubs are for, not necessarily for anything else. Some unmarried women just enjoy dancing. Here in Western countries, dance is more a form of self-expression and art and is not necessarily connected to sex. Please open your mind a bit and learn to respect other cultures.

  43. Sami:

    I am still laughing at that your last comment directed at me.

    Next, men and women go out to enjoy themselves with friends and to dance for the most part. It is also a great place to met new people and yes maybe later on you might even strike up relationship. There are always men and women who will want a little more than that whether it is in a nightclub or something else. However, they are adults and if they want to go to that point so be it.

  44. An American girl knows her legs is tempter but never hide them down. An American girl knows about her seducer arms but keep them exposed ever, she acknowledges her fascinate voice but speak still in murmur…

    Sayyed Qutb(When his back from USA)

  45. Azad, I have no idea on which planet you live, where they live according to your weird comment.

    Of course it’s about sex. We’ve had guys commenting right here about their ”right” to ”upgrade” when their current wife becomes too old at 25. And he was looking forward to it. I wonder if his poor young wife was aware of his upgrade plans.

    I have read the Quran, you keep forgetting that. The Quran says, that if a man does not have the charity and unselfishness to help out poor widows and orphans, then he can marry the mothers so at least he gets something back (sex) in return for giving them shelter and food.
    Which is ofcourse never how it’s implemented, and it is immoral to begin with. If there are widows and orphans who need care Mohammed could have put up fair inheritance laws for women. He could have said all the wealth of a diseased husband should go to his wife so she and her children are provided for.
    He could have put up a social welfare system.
    He could have made sure women’s and children’s rights were provided and protected.

    But this was never about ”caring” for women and children. These rules in the Quran were set up to regulate men’s rights over women, and to make sure women will be dependent.
    And let’s not forget the Quran says men can rape as many slaves as they can afford. I really don’t see where sex, of the cheapest and lowest kind, (not the loving free partnership, the generosity of true love and affection), is not the main concern of the quran.

    It is you, and people like you, (read the comments on this thread), who are truly obsessed with sex.
    Who keep constantly blaming other countries for their more healthy attitudes towards sex, and who make up ridiculous nonsense about sex in other countries, who cannot have healthy thoughts about women, It is who cannot imagine that people who go to dance just want to dance, for you it’s all about sex.

    Well, it isn’t.
    Dancing is fun, it’s good for you, it’s beautiful, and it’s natural for humans to express themselves through dance. And it isn’t about sex.
    Not in healthy normal societies. In normal, healthy societies, people can go about their business, or go out and have fun, go dance, go and swim, sunbathe on the beach, talk to people of a different gender, without constantly being obsessed with sex.
    You, sami, snowman, etc. have some serious psychological obsessions about sex. It’s very unhealthy. You need professional help.

  46. I never see so much hypocrisy as with discussing polygamy. Whenever I hear about DH’s relative marrying a second wife, I always ask: “So, which orphans are you afraid you won’t be able to deal justly with?”

    What do I get? A blank stare.

    People. The verse doesn’t begin with “Marry one, or two or three or four.”

    It says, “IF you are not able to deal justly with orphans (approx.), THEN marry.” Not just go out there and marry. No one ever gets me a straight answer.

  47. @nn, The other answer I never expect is when I see women who are unhappy in polygamy, depressed and in bad shape who could easily get out. I don’t mean those in Saudi or stuck in ny place they have my sympathies . These are women who can’t stand to be in polygamy yet are nd when I ask them why they stay the ONLY answer I expect but never get s ‘I love him’. It’s always either a ‘ is a test for me’ or ‘ how can I make what is halal haram’. I never understand that. Wy would god test you alone and not your spouse ?.. And who is aski you to make it haram get out let him enjoy his halal polygamous life.

    I’m ok with it if its what everyone wants, but in this short life we lead I don’t think it is worth it to be miserable. God wants us to do our best ,help others and be happy. Not wallow in misery. Aleast that’s what I think god wants from me.

  48. NN:

    There is a lot of social conditioning of women as they are brought up to somehow be the one’s who must make the sacrifice due only in part to their gender. It is a learned state based entirely on the environment and social conditioning which they have been brainwashed to believe in since childhood. It is one of the primary reasons why many of the religious organizations want to keep individuals particular women from obtaining higher education as it makes them question what they have been taught and to dig into the historical evidence and different interpretations which could counter their position of oppression against women. I assure you that this is why the Taliban want to keep women from obtaining a higher education, this is way the Hasdic Jews in NY recently came out and stated that it is best that women not obtain higher education past high school as well as the Amish who fought to keep their children from going past 8th grade. In fact the Amish actually stated that it was because higher education of their children would create an issue of them questioning their religous teachings. Look the case up the individual last name was Yoder and the case was heard in 1972. The US allowed the Amish to allow the children to be lacking in education to ensure that they are disadvantaged should they ever wish to leave such as society in order to uphold fairytale religous stances and to ensure the children would be trapped. Heck the Catholic Church hates it when you delve into their past and make them find new innovative ways to lie to keep the order of celibate male leadership. Even in Islam the education part was never meant to seek education on worldly matters; it wasonly on religious textand practices nothing more and anyone who tells you different is blowing smoke up your skirt.

  49. You said ” Not necessarily sex” it means *********** Very strange way to hide the truth. Carry on my friend.

    Edited, Moderator

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