Saudi Arabia: It’s Never too Late or too Often to Rejoice and Celebrate

larryandshanda.blogspot.com

 

As I read a recent article in the Saudi Gazette where five sons organized a wedding party for their parents who had divorced and remarried, it made me reflect back on my own marriage.

Abdullah and I were only blessed with four short years of marriage before his untimely death but not a day went by when we reminded each other of the vows we had made and our love for one another.  Even if we were angry, we had made a pact at the time of our marriage to never go to bed angry.  We’d each remember and recall a special moment of our relationship with one another.

It’s too easy to be divorced in any part of the world but especially for the Saudi couple.  A Saudi man needs only to issue the words “talaq, talaq, talaq” three times and he is basically divorced.  The wife on the other hand has to file for “khula” and requires two witnesses in order to receive a divorce.  However the point I am trying to make is that divorce can happen too easily and without much effort.  It’s making a marriage last and grow stronger which takes the real work.

I am saddened when I hear of couples readily divorcing and at times have selfish thoughts of how my own time with my beloved husband was much too short.  I’m not saying our life was all peaches and cream but we each knew that we had found both a life partner and best friend.

If you are part of a married unit, the next time the going gets a little rough try doing what Abdullah and I always did and recall some of the most special moments to each other.  This process really does help to reconnect the love and commitment and makes one appreciate the relationship that one has.  I seriously doubt the grass is greener or easier on the other side and especially so in Saudi Arabia.

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5 Responses

  1. marriage is like a tree when we first get married it is small and fragile as we grow together we feed it with the water of love and it grows; sometimes we starve it when we do not love each other and let the selfish “I” take control of our emotions and thinking. This love comes from knowing that we are all created by God and God loves all.
    When you love … let it be with a ray of the Infinite love! – ‘Abdul-Baha’ (Paris Talks, p. 38)

  2. In the past 7 years I have had the advantage (or disadvantage) of working long periods away from home. That has taught me the importance of the relationships I have.

  3. Do they say ‘talaq, talaq talaq’ here in Saudi Arabia as well for divorce, as I thought its just the way in Indian subcontinent.

  4. I have to agree with Ray’s quote. I think a lot of marriages fail because either the two people in the relationship weren’t compatible in the first place and/or they grow apart because they quit communicating with each other. (And by communicating, I don’t mean “talking”; I mean sharing thoughts (words, actions, etc.) and actively listening.) It takes two to make a marriage work, and if one person is done, there is nothing the other can do about it.

    With my habibi, neither of us want to truly leave the other because we both love each other deeply, and this knowledge is what helps us through our rough patches. Our life is better because we’re together. Ironically, I don’t think anyone would have expected us to stay together for even a year, except maybe 2 or 3 family members/close friends.

    Carol, it won’t do anyone any good to compare your relationship with Abdullah to other peoples’ relationships. I know the time you had together was short, and it’s sad that he’s not still here, but it’s only going to bring you pain to think of it that way. Only the people involved (i.e. the couple) know all the intricacies of the relationship and the reason(s) for divorce. I do not think it is selfish to wish for more years with Abdullah, though. I’m sorry you two didn’t have more time together.

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