In spite of all efforts to preserve the sanctity of marriage, divorce continues to rise in the Kingdom whether with a Saudi or non-Saudi spouse. In the Kingdom, divorce and custody of children is based on the Islamic or Shariah law. Any child born with a Saudi father is viewed as a Saudi citizen and naturally a muslim. When an American woman marries a Saudi man and lives in the Kingdom, Islamic/Shariah law prevails. The US embassy does not intervene in child custody disputes between Americans and Saudis.
In the case of a divorce, if an American woman is married to a Saudi, she likely loses her sponsor (her husband) and therefore required to leave the Kingdom. Because under Islamic law the (Saudi) children are awarded to the father so in many cases the American woman must leave the Kingdom without her children.
Typically under Shariah law, a mother (muslim or non-muslim) in the Kingdom can maintain custody of her male children until the age of nine and maintain custody of female children until the age of seven after which custody is reverted to the father. If a divorced mother continues to have custody beyond those ages may depend on the father and the relationship between the divorced couple. And naturally the Saudi courts wish to have any child of divorced parents in the Kingdom continue to be raised in an Islamic environment.
Determination of visitation rights and custodial rights when a Saudi man and woman are divorced from one another also is influenced by the relationship between the divorced couple, since the man will usually have custody in accordance to Shariah.
While dated from 2003, this International Herald Tribune article is an informative read about an American woman who had been married to a Saudi and involved in a custody dispute:
http://www.iht.com/articles/2003/07/01/edsidd_ed3_.php
For further information on divorce and child custody, the US State Department has a very good link:
http://www.travel.state.gov/family/abduction/country/country_517.html
Also the web site Expert Law provides much information and details about Shariah law, divorce and child custody:
http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family_law/islamic_custody.html
Lastly, if one needs to identify a lawyer in the Kingdom, this site provides a list of law firms: http://www.hg.org/firms-saudiarabia.html
Filed under: America, culture, gender, islam, relationships, religion, Saudi Arabia, Saudi culture, Saudi customs, Saudi education, travel, Uncategorized |
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[…] No Land Grab wrote an interesting post today on Divorce in KSA: Who Gets Custody?Here’s a quick excerpt…http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family… […]
In my wife’s case they granted her custody, but custody went back to the father if she got married again. When that came time……..time werent so keen on the idea.
Aha, I forgot to mention that many divorced women now request ‘misyar’ marriages too because they don’t want their ex-husbands to know that they’ve taken a new (many times younger and cuter) husband. They would lose custody of the children. So, it seems to be that many people here in the Kingdom are leading ‘secret’ lives.
One could probably have a hit bigger than Dallas based on the “other lives of Saudis.”
It is important to note that many Sunni scholars have judged these marriages to be haram, forbidden, and the only places they are common in the Muslim world is Saudi Arabia. Shi’a Islam has a similar type of marriage as well.
Common sense marks these “marriages” to be nothing more than dating, or often casual sex relationships. In a previous post I said they were like “halal prostition” but that is wrong. At least a prostitute gets paid.
These marriages are a sore on Saudi and make a mockery of the religion in that country.
“misyar marriage” is different than “zawaj al mot’a”, & “al zawaj al orfi” It seems some people mix them up. in “misyar” all the main rules and regulations in marriage are fulfilled. However whether it’s acceptable or not, this goes back to the couples (the man and the lady) who are involved in it, and not to anyone else. If they accept “misyar” it’s not of our business to say it’s haram, forbidden etc.
Who said that there is no obligation on the man in ‘misyar” marriage!!! Did anyone say it’s free 🙂 I never heard such thing except in a comment in this article . The man pay the dowry. The only difference, the woman is living in her home and not with the man. So most likely she is living with her family. Always there is a wedding , and there is a contract signed by the bride and groom in ‘misyar marriage. Officially, she is his wife even if it’s a ‘misyar marriage.
I heard a girl who is in her mid 20’s who wanted to have a “misyar” marriage. When she was asked why, she said, “my mother is sick and she needs my help. I cannot give anyone in this life a priority more than her. Is Allah going to punish her for her request ? 🙂
I remember when I was in highschool, we asked our teacher “What does Islam say about “‘misyar’ marriage? I still remember exactly what he told us. He said “Will you accept it to your sister? (he addressed his question to one student) The student said “no”. The teacher said, “You (pointing to this student who said no) ‘misyar marriage is not acceptable for you. Then the teacher asked, is eating onion acceptable in Islam? (we said yes) Does every Muslim eat it? (we said no). He said then if you don’t like it , don’t do it, and if you accept it then do it.
I liked this onion example 🙂 I’m allergic to onions. I cannot tolerate seeing/feeling/tasting/knowing/smelling that there is onions in the food. They even here at the Caf of the uni do my food in a separate dish, so it’ll not be cooked on a pan…. that was used for cooking onion. I wish to forbid onions , and to punish everyone eats it or touches it because I don’t like it. Unfortunately 🙂 I cannot because people are free to eat onion as long as they like it 🙂 (It’s a dream for me to live in a place where onion is forbidden)
If it comes to me personally, I don’t like the ‘misyar’ marriage, and I don’t wish it to any man or woman. As aside note, I don’t know any (man or woman ) in KSA who is married a (misyar marriage) It exists I’m sure , but non of my family, non of my friends, non of my parents friends is married “misyarly” (LOL a new term I’ve just coined :).
PS: a wedding can be a small one or a big one 🙂
PS: I’m busy with univ work, so I’ll not stop by regularly. In advance, I apologize for any late comments .
All the Best to All…
PS: I’ve just realized : this post is about divorce, I’m wondering, who changed it to “marriage” and specially to ‘misyar’ marriage !!! 🙂
Welcome Back Khalid! You were missed and I hope you can pop in between studying to catch up.
Khalid,
You write:
” If they accept “misyar” it’s not of our business to say it’s haram, forbidden etc”.
This is kind of a strange statement, especially when we are focusing on Saudi Arabia. Private observance of Islamic law and practices is something that is pretty well foreign in Saudi.
Keep in mind we are talking about a country where you are FORCED to pray even if you do not want to. If you are a man and out in public during prayer times, you can be expected to go to the mosque, in some locations you will be forced to go to the mosque. Religious police roam the streets, again more in some places than others, and force their view of what is haram and halal on the people they meet. Establishments are shut during prayers, food outlets shut during Ramadan, alcohol banned, ect.
It is clear that the state plays a very heavy role in Saudi telling people exactly what is halal and haram and forcing it upon them.The idea that people, institutions and organisations in Saudi do not have a right to say what is haram and halal has no real basis in reality.
Now I would agree with you if you think that the state, even people, have no right in deciding what people do. This is one of my main issues with the Saudi government and institutions themselves.
I believe in freedom of choice, whether the choice involves something that is halal or haram. God judges us on our choices and our intention, so banning something does little for someone when they dont have a choice anyway.
So whilst I believe that misyar is haram, and a majority of Islamic scholars outside of Saudi would agree with this sentiment, I would not ban it any more than I would force people to pray because it is fard (required).
For me it is an academic issue because even if I could ban it, I would not. I believe it is haram under Islamic law, I believe it is a self serving innovation and that it does not do a good service for the people involved, especially women, and I believe it is harmful to the society in general.
What bothers me is the attempt to try and sell it as “Islamic” when it clearly is not. One of the major issues with Muslims is that they tend to confuse religion and culture and then try to blame/attribute what they do to Islam.
For me it (misyar) is like dating, given an Islamic veneer. Again, for me this is fine, I wouldnt outlaw dating either. What people do is between them and God, but at least lets call a spade a spade!
Good luck with the studies.
Khalid, you said …”As aside note, I don’t know any (man or woman ) in KSA who is married a (misyar marriage) It exists I’m sure , but non of my family, non of my friends, non of my parents friends is married misyarly”
Of course you wouldn’t know about it….it’s a SECRET! : )
My friend’s father just got married ‘misyarly’ last year and the only reason he was found out was because the new little lady got herself ‘accidentally’ pregnant. Well, his first wife and his other children were very upset with him. His kids asked him, “How would you like it if we got married and had a baby without telling you about it?” The whole family is in turmoil and the kids have lost respect, as well as trust for their own father.
Now there will be a divorce of one of them because my friend’s mom never agreed to this situation that she’s found herself in.
So, you see, misyar marriage and DIVORCE, sometimes go hand in hand. I’m fine if single people want to marry this way, but I’ve seen the fall-out when a married man does it. Society in KSA need to speak up!
Reuters decided to pick up this piece:
http://www.reuters.com/article/blogBurst/domestic?bbPostId=CzCso0daZ4bnXBEZgr4vZTMqJB66EVpJsoJMFCz65Dm0Bh2I47
I found your site on Google and read a few of your other entires. Nice Stuff. I’m looking forward to reading more from you.
Thank you Nicholas and welcome!